I’m too horny for the amount of sex I’m not having.
It seems that the real Porn for Women involves photos of hot guys doing household chores.
I just…don’t get this. Obviously it’s meant to be a joke (god I hope it’s meant to be a joke or else it’s really fucking depressing) but I don’t quite get why it’s funny. When I was growing up, my parents…
Seriously, its pissing me off too. Those photos are telling people that its not normal, its re-enforcing gender stereotypes rather than challenging them.
My baby-boomer father vacuumed and cleaned the bathrooms most weeks. My mom dealt with the kitchen. Pictures of men vacuuming is about as interesting to me as paint drying.
Mainstream society is stuck in 1972 when it comes to feminism, too often basic human decency (like cleaning you’re fucking house), gets lauded as 21st-century evolved, sensitive man behavior. Like, you should congratulate and high five him (and apparently masturbate) because its not like he’s expected to do it.
He’s doing you a favor.
What Kind of Porn Turns Women On?
By Jodie Gummow
8 April 2014
You might be surprised.
The never-ending debate about women and pornography has led to many assumptions about female sexual desire. A common perception depicted by the media is that women are turned off by porn that is made for men, by men. Advocates for so-called female-friendly pornography—that is, porn founded on mutual respect where the female subject demonstrates true agency in her sexuality—believe that if there were more emotive-driven, personality-based storylines in porn, more women would watch it. However, surprising research on porn patterns suggests otherwise.
Neuroscientists Ogi Ogas and Sai Gaddam, co-authors of the book, A Billion Wicked Thoughts (www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EwZWIPw3DE&feature=youtu.be), conducted research on visual pornography in relation to female sexual desire in an attempt to unlock the secret of our sexual habits. The results of their study found that while most women don’t watch porn, those who do are not watching female-friendly porn but rather the same mainstream, male-targeted, hardcore sites that men view.
“There is a real interesting phenomenon in women’s sexuality—not seen in men’s—and that is this divide between what erotica should be and what actually turns women on,” Ogas told AlterNet. “Studies show that what turns women on is different to what they wish turned them on or how they politically feel about it. There is a paradox in the brain that women have to wrestle with. Men like what they like sexually. But with women, we see political manifestos embedded in their sexuality, with just as much emphasis on whether or not we’re discriminating on any particular gender or race. Whereas, for a man that just doesn’t occur.”
An interesting correlation is found between women who like hardcore porn and certain personality traits, Ogar explains.
“Women who like hardcore porn tend to be more aggressive, more socially assertive and more comfortable taking risks. They are comfortable playing both roles sexually, they like being dominated and being submissive. They possess a constellation of personality traits that you would normally associate with men. It is reasonable to imagine then that for a minority of women, their sexual brain develops in a masculine way,” he said.
Angie Rowntree, the founder of Sssh.com, offers a different explanation for the trafficking trends.
“If the vast majority of porn on the market is made by and for men—and it is—is it any wonder that a relatively small portion of women wants to watch it? To me, that number just speaks to the opportunity on the market for porn made with a female viewership in mind. It’s just a function of the numbers and what has been available on the market, historically speaking,” she told AlterNet.
Indeed, while the rise of “female-friendly” porn has shown that women’s individual preferences are as varied and diverse as men, some common trends have emerged with regard to female sexual tastes. A 2008 study (www.nytimes.com/2008/06/12/fashion/12bisex.html?_r=1&) found that women showed signs of arousal watching pretty much anything: masturbation, straight sex, girl-on-girl, guy-on-guy, bonobo chimps, everything —except pictures of naked men, which did not float a woman’s boat.
So is there a place online for female-friendly porn sites? Ogas weighs in on the big picture.
“There is definitely an audience for feminist-friendly porn, just a small audience and a small fraction of women overall. What is fascinating is that women commonly promote the idea of feminist porn and socially want to believe in it. Activists argue that there needs to be more of it, women support it in public and I see women start erotic websites all the time. But when it comes down to it, that is just not what they are interested in looking at,” he said.
In contrast, Rowntree says female-friendly porn is important in contemporary society regardless of one’s views on pornography because it is an extension of the way that women have explored and expressed their sexuality throughout history.
“To me, it’s important that there’s porn made by and for women, to ensure that at least some of the porn on the market emphasizes a woman’s pleasure and the feminine perspective. It’s important that there are depictions available that show people having real sex, experiencing real, mutual pleasure, and not just something that satisfies male-dominant fantasies….Whenever women have been open about their sexuality, or god forbid, assertive with our sexuality, you can count on a certain number of people freaking out about it, and looking for ways to shame and silence us,” she said.
While social constructs, stereotypes and pressures have certainly played a role in keeping women from being comfortable with porn in the past, Rowntree says the impact of those factors are diminishing over time. This is consistent with a recent poll of 300 women, which showed millennials watched the most porn: 57 percent of respondents who enjoyed porn solo were aged 18-24.
Rowntree says, “Among younger women, there’s less and less concern for such constructs, and more openness to erotic material and more comfort with their own sexuality. To me, ‘female-friendly porn’ just means porn that doesn’t make a second-class citizen out of the women performing in it, or the women watching it. It depicts two people truly enjoying themselves.”
Jodie Gummow is a senior fellow and staff writer at AlterNet.
Anonymous asked: So why do so many kinksters find rape fantasies so appealing? I understand that it is roleplay and thus not "real" rape, but why do they find the idea of it so erotic when it's actually how millions of women and men for that matter are driven to suicide?
This seems like a very loaded question. Additionally, I don’t think any of the mods are into rape fantasies, so we really can’t answer that. You’d have to ask someone who is.
It’s not *my* kink, but I can understand the appeal. When you’re into power exchange and playing with fear, things like guns and knives kidnapping and “rape” start to make sense.
Ultimately it’s about power and trust. You’re in a situation where in any other context you would fear for your life, and you get the bodily reaction - the adrenaline and the tension and such - but somewhere in the back of your mind you know you’re safe. It’s more like skydiving or base jumping. It’s not about the sex, it’s about the emotions behind it.
It’s not the same as rape and I don’t like the term “rape play” at all. Consensual non consent or fear play or edge play or something else is better because with that knowledge that you are ultimately safe and that it is something you want it becomes nothing at all like rape. The emotions can be similar - even the fear - but it’s play, so you’re allowed to enjoy it and your partner wants you to enjoy it.
^There we are!
Also, on a purely psychological/psychological level, feelings of fear increase arousal and adrenaline.
Skydiving is a great analogy. I’ve always compared it to tag. When you play tag you’re mimicking life and death situations. You run from your friends as if they are ax murderers, and you get the same adrenaline rush that you would if they were an ax murderer, but because they aren’t and are your friends, its enjoyable.
If you change that single thing, that it is consensual play between two friends, you completely change the experience of the person being chased.
I have this craving to make a man come right now. And it’s purely selfish really because I just want to feel that wave of pride that storms in after he’s done and wobbly…
Skin Diamond, Mandy Morbid, on our couch, by Zak Smith, acrylic on paper (detail) Click to enlarge or don’t bother
i hate it how someone can fuck you up so bad, you can’t even listen to certain songs.